Behind the Scenes with Link revised
by Posessed angel
Summary: AN I made sure to get rid of the typos first. Prepare to see shocking secrets about Link that nobody has ever seen! Rated M for harsh language and some violence.
1. First Questions

Me:Okay uhhh... this is my first fiction so no flames!

Disclaimer:I don't own Link or any other SSBM characters.

Host:Hi people my name is Frank and I'm the host of "Behind the Scenes" (random applause) In this show I find out the deep dark secrets of video game characters and T.V. show characters! And now the moment you've all been waiting for, here's our special guest, he's the Hylian hero from "The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time" LINK!(loud cheering and applause)

Link: Good evening worthless people of America!(and applause)Hey what gives!This invitation says there's a party at this adress, but all I got was an invitation to be a special guest at this shitty T.V. show!

Frank:Woah woah buddy there's no need to get offensive here! AllI want to do is ask you some questions.

Link: Okay! Go on ask me anything!

Frank:Here's your 1st question: Did you get along with Ganondorf while you were off the set?

Link: Hell yeah! When we were off set we were best buds!

VideoGuy: Uhh Frank we just got this tape from someone,would you like to put it in?

Frank:SURE!(Frank puts in the tape and it shows Ganondorf taking a cookie from Link. Link yells,"HEY GIMME BACK MY DAMN COOKIE YOU BASTARD!"  
Ganondorf replies,"NO! FINDERS KEEPERS LOSERS WEEPERS"then he blew a rasberry at him"YOU STUPID BITCH!"Link yells back.Then the video ends and the crowd gasps)

Link: Uhhhhhhhhh... I can explain. ISWEAR IF ANY OF YOU RELEASE THIS INFORMATION I SHALL HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU! YOU'LL ALL RUE THE DAY YOU MESSED WITH ME!

Frank: Uhhhh yeah whatever. So next question: Did you marry Zelda?

Link: MY GOD!Everybody asks me that question, but I did'nt! Zelda was a major bitch, so I married Saria.

Frank:Let's go to the tape!(The tape turns on Link and Zelda are in Hyrule Castle Link says,"Uhhh Zelda I don't think our relationship is working out and I've been starting to see Saria and... well you can see where this is going can't you? Can we still be friends?" Zelda, who is in a state of complete rage yells,"BITCH SLAP!" Link is then knocked unconcious.The video ends again and the audience is hysterical)

Frank:That was umm... interesting..uhh let's move on! Hey where did Link go?(Frank looks around until he finds Link in a corner)

Link: Happy place Happy place.It's okay... it's not like they're laughing at me...

Frank:(Frank slowly backs away with a horrified face.)Well... okay let's go to commercial while Link deals with his humiliation!  
goes to commecial

Me: Well that's the 1st chapter! In the next chapter you'll see a handful of dumb commercials I made!  
Link:STOP RIGHT THERE!  
Me:OH CRAP!  
Link:Your going to die!  
Me:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


	2. Commercials

Me: Greetings people of the world I've managed to scrape together some stupid commercials that my friend and I created, so here they are. 

Disclaimer: I still don't own any SSBM characters  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Commercial One

Police officer: WARNING! The Oompa Loompas have escaped, if you see any of those singin' orange bastards you must shoot them down with everything you got!If you are caught without a weapon then call 1-800-WE HATE OOMPA LOOMPAS  
End of Commecial One

Commecial Two

Pet Shelter Woman: Attention everyone someone has lost a piece of bacon. This bacon strip answers to the name "Crispy". If you see said piece of bacon call 1-555-BACONFINDERS, so we can return this bacon to its poor, sorry-ass owner.Again that's 1-555-BACONFINDERS. (even if you find the bacon, it's okay to keep because I don't give a shit!)  
End of Commercial Two

Commercial Three

This program is brought to you by rice pudding brand rice pudding "MMMM! Ricey! Please buy rice pudding I mean we know it sucks, but we're FREAKIN BROKE!So come on down to Rice Pudding R Us  
End of Commecial Three xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Me: Sorry the chapter was so short, but that's all I could think of!

Link: Your're still going to pay you sorry-ass bastard1!

Me: See ya!


	3. Last Questions and Credits

Me: Third chapter... 

Disclaimer: I still don't own any SSBM characters xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Frank: Welcome back to "Behind the Scenes"!(cheering) Now that Link is done dealing with his humiliation let's ask him a few more questions! Third question...

Link: NO! NOT AGAIN! THE LAST DAMN QUESTION YOU ASKED WAS FOLLOWED BY SOMETHING ONTHAT FUCKED UP TAPE!  
IF YOU ASK ME ONE MORE QUESTION I'LL CUT YOUR SORRY-ASS THROAT!

Frank: Okay... since I'm scared out of my mind I'll let my co-host ask the questions!(Frank runs away screaming)

Co-Host: ...oookaaayy.Third question...

Link: (Link shoves sword into the co-host's throat then Link laughs insanley) MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (crowd screams)

Frank: (Frank walks back in to see his co-host lying on the floor in a bloody heap) OH MY GOD! (Frank looks up at Link an then he takes out a very large megaphone) LINK! LINK! CALM DOWN! I JUST WANT TO ASK A FEW MORE QUESTIONS THEN YOU CAN GO!

Link: Okay okay as long as you let me leave this shithole when you're done asking questions.

Frank: Third question were you ever arrested?

Link: Yeah

Frank:What for?

Link: I attempted to smuggle 12 kinds of alchohol from another country.

Frank: How long were you locked up?

Link: Originally I was sentenced to two years in prison, but I got out in two weeks.

Frank: How?

Link: I used a spoon.

Frank: But couldn't you use your mole mitts or your shovel?

Link: No, because they were confiscated after I hit the warden with my boomerang.(crowd laughs)

Frank: ...okay... Fourth question! How was your relationship with your parents?

Link: Well if you played the game you would know that they died, but in real life, my dad was a polka singer and my mom was insane.

Frank: ...Words fail me...(Frank's mind: what a freak...if he had any brothers I bet they would be gay clowns or something)Fifth question what were your jobs before you worked for Nintendo?

Link:I worked as a garbage man.

Frank: what was that like?

Link:It sucked ass!

Frank: Woah okay Link calm down!

Link:Okay..thanks

Frank:Okay now what was your 2nd job like?

Link:I entertained kids at parties.

Frank: That doesn't sound so bad

Link: Oh hell yeah it is!

Frank: Let's go to the tape!(Frank puts in tape)

Link: (Link watches in horror as the video shows him in a clown costume calling himself Assholio the Crack addicted clown. Then it shows the clown getting on a unicycle while jugglingflamingchainsaws.) (Link runs away while the crowd is laughing so hard that they can't breathe)

Frank: (laughing) That was the funniest damn thing I've seen in a while! Well that raps up our show, so see you next time on "Behind the Scenes" (Loud applause)

Credits

Producer:Possesd Angel

Character voices:

Frank-Chris Rock

Link- As himself

Co-host- Who cares? he's dead!

A special thanks to:

My brothers (UltimateMachine King and Reege The Bat)for thier support, Princess Zelda for submitting the tape, and my friendStella the Hedgehogwho helped make the commercials.

Thanks for reading!  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Me:Thank God! the final chapter is complete!Also Link has stopped chasing me because he is now out to kill Zelda!

Link:THAT BITCH!


End file.
